I’ll be there with my family.

But this year held a new challenge- with the parade being held on January 2nd instead of the 1st, my family didn’t have anyone willing to camp out for our spots on Colorado Boulevard (for example, my sister and her friends did it one year, and another year other families we share the spot with did the duty another year). My mother would have to do it alone. I couldn’t bring myself to leave an almost AARP-qualifying family member (I can totally make this joke here, because even after telling her the URL to my blog, my mom can’t be bothered to check it out. Mom, if you figured it out now, I totally had to do it. You know I had to.) out on the street overnight. I volunteered myself to spare her the pain.

So after waking up on January 1st to work at seven motherfuckingohgodthisisgoingtokillme in the morning, I proceeded to go home, nap, and drive out to the boulevard in the early evening to bundle up and sit out with my mother.

There’s something to be said about the whole experience, though.

The yearly tradition for those out on the street for the parade is to chuck marshmallows and tortillas covered in shaving cream at those cars brave enough to drive on the street. I sat there, in the california cold, just waiting, watching the festivities countinue ahead of me. Thankfully, I had my iPad, so I had a deluge of entertainment waiting for me. Those sitting in the reserved spot next to me threw tortilla after tortilla at cars, who retaliated with silly string (and in some cases) water balloons, which, more than once, almost hit me. I simply avoided the projectiles, and watched the videos I had loaded up in anticipation of the evening.

A hidden air mattress underneath me provided comfort for me once I got ready for bed. I hid my iPad under my shirt and jacket, and slept on my stomach so no one could take it from me (my fat ass being the best source of protection for it.). I was surrounded by chairs for the next morning, a few anemities scattered across a little plot I had called my own for the rest of my family and assorted friends to join me at the next morning. I finally fell asleep around 2:30-3 am in the morning, the sounds of blaring horns and loud talking neighbors blaring in my ears even then.

I woke up the next morning at seven in the morning, by my mother, who awoke me with her laughter and holding her iPhone to my face, taking pictures of me drooling in my sleep.

I begrudgingly woke up for the parade (wiping the drool off), only to fall asleep multiple times throughout it, nodding off random times even as marching parades blasted music past me.

At my point in the parade line is roughly about 2/3rds complete, so everyone marching already has a look of fatigue upon their faces (the spot where the television cameras are is right at the beginning, so everyone still looks cheerful there). My mother proceeds to troll them every year, screaming out “YOU STILL HAVE ELEVEN MILES TO GO!” (not really), and then proceeding to talk to someone on a horse riding on the pararde on how wonderful the movie War Horse is (honestly, I could go into a whole book on how my mother’s madness shaped my own. It would have to be an epic that would be longer than the Lord of the Rings to explain).

It’s an experience, time and time again, to see the handiwork of the hundreds of volunteers who make the floats. I reiterate-HDTV doesn’t do these floats justice at all- to see them up close and personal is some sort of magic for me still, 18 years later.

Will I sleep outside again? For the experience?

Nnnnnnnnnope. I’m good, thank you.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my turtle- a now one-year old red eared slider by the name of Tosh. I had two turtles at first- Mac and Tosh. (Get it? Eh?). Mac had died from unknown causes early on, leaving me to look like a huge fan of Daniel Tosh.

But man, turtles are the lowest common denominator when it comes to pet owners. Yeah, you can’t play with them- just like fish- but at least fish look graceful as they swim around their tank. Turtles look like fat children with floaties struggling through the water as they keep swimming around. Tosh must be special or something, because he keeps trying to swim against the edges and never stop.

You can’t curl up with a turtle. You can’t pet them. The most you do is watch them as they relax on their artificial rocks. Tosh relaxes there until i make a sudden movement in my room before he dives into the water and tries to swim away from me, to no avail.

Yesterday, I woke up to watch him struggle to get onto his rock- falling backwards into the water, float to the bottom of the tank, and try again- for a good five minutes. He’s been able to do this before, but this morning, he just couldn’t figure out how he could do it. Which was strange, because this turtle has been able to escape. Totally serious- I’d work at my computer, only to turn my head to see him with his head up in the air, tipping his body over the side of the shell to fall out of it. He did so four times in a row, more than often finding him on the opposite side of my room.

They’re not the smartest things, but that goes without saying.

Walking into a pet store to get a new filter or turtle food always makes me feel like the lowest of the food chain of pet owners. People walking around with their dogs, getting cat food- I’m almost jealous of them as I have to remind myself over and over to clean his tank out again, or risk getting salmonella.

But watching that awkward little shit (that’s my sister’s nickname for Tosh) can be almost calming. And knowing that the lifespan of red eared turtles can almost go to 40 (yes, forty) years was at first an annoying fact (cursing my friend for giving me a pet i’d have to take care of past my mid life crisis), it became a reassuring figure, knowing I’d have a constant in my ever changing life, wherever that might lead.

So thank you Tosh, you little shit.

“Hey, played that game yet?”

Panzer Dragoon Orta.

And no, I haven’t played it. I’ve never owned an Xbox. Until recently.

Hello there, namesake. Used, on amazon, like new.

Sweet.

Mass Effect has just been optioned for a film with Legendary Pictures. This is a unique new opportunity for video game movies- giving the original creators some input into the creation of the film. I doubt Shinji Mikami or anyone at Capcom were given key roles or consulting opportunities when it came for Resident Evil films, for example. I do believe that to make a video game movie work properly, there needs to be a balance set- one between that of the original game designers and that of the creative team of the film- screenwriter, director, et. al. It’s a tricky tightrope to follow, but even with some creative input from those who originally created the story, balanced with the creative team behind the movie, magic could be made.

But besides that- what fascinates me most is the possibilities for the Mass Effect movie- what could come of it if it came to fruition. The game was open ended, and gamers came together with different tales of their Mass Effect experience. I would like to submit my own idea to where the Mass Effect movie should go- something in my own part of the Mass Effect experience.

Shepard (the main character), should be a woman.

Okay, so it’s not entirely unheard of- I understand that. And the majority of the advertising for both games feature the standard male Shepard (or maleshep, as a couple of ME fan friends of mine have informed me to the lingo of the fans), and the adversity the character presents in having to save the world. So why this femshep?

The world of science fiction films is crowded with the idea of the one male hero fighting adversity for the good of their respective “universe” so to say- everyone from Captain Malcolm Reynolds(Serenity, Firefly) to older classics like George Taylor (from Planet of the Apes). The male hero fighting for good in the face of so much adversity is a world to which comes natural to the science fiction genre in films. Let’s mix it up a bit and place a female Shepard into the role. After all, when you think of a female hero in science fiction, most minds turn immediately to Ellen Ripley of the Alien films. And that character is almost thirty years old at this point- have there been no other real sci-fi super heroines. Okay, maybe Buffy, but she was more fantasy character than sci-fi. Some of the Firefly characters were quite strong, but they weren’t the main character- only playing second fiddle to Nathan Fillion’s Malcolm Reynolds.

Why not allow the female Shepard not only face adversity as being the only human ever to become Spectre (an event that occurs early in the first game)- facing adversity not only to her race- but her sex- thus facing adversity within her own people. Make that battle to gain acceptance and understanding from those in the Citadel- and in that universe- that much harder to accomplish.

It would be a difficult sell, yes, perhaps, then going safe and filling the tropes of science fiction films to a strong male lead, but to challenge the audience to respect this Shepard would indeed shake things up.

The Mass Effect experience was the ability to shake things up- to allow players to choose their own path and make their own moral experience. Why not shake it up and allow the central character- the protagonist to which Ashley, Liara, and Garrus and the other secondary characters- rally behind to save the universe with- be that of the fairer sex?

To have a female character that not only has the distinct problems to attempting to save the galaxy already discriminated as a human (a already looked down upon group within the Mass Effect mythos, as humans are relative newcomers to the galactic political-sphere), but to receive further discrimination from those within her race as a woman- if done correctly, could create a rallying character to which is sorely missing from the realm of science fiction. The story was written in such a way that playing as either sex would feel natural to the player. The same could be said of the movie- having a female lead may be difficult- especially for those who were used to playing through the Mass Effect with the male Shepard.

Unfortunately, that can’t be the case anymore. At Comic Con, Bioware had a panel for the film, in which they confirmed that the movie will be about the origin story of a male Shepard. Now to go and say that this plan is a bad one is a foolhardy move on my part- who knows, the film may be an amazing success. I would have just liked it if there was a challenge on the behalf of those involved to create a new science fiction heroine in their already vivid, expansive universe, basing it on a story already known by the fan base created so far.

But that’s just my thought as a writer, just a compilation and musings of someone who would like to see the Mass Effect story make the jump to the silver screen effectively, by challenging itself to become the next great sci-fi universe in film.

So on my day off, running errands had me passing by my previous job. I went in and visited the library and my former coworkers. There were previous visits, sure, but this day, I spent a considerable time talking to people and observing my former workplace in a different light- from a workplace to a patron.

And its as if nothing has changed. Well sure, it’s only been about 18 months, but I had expected to see something… more to be changed since I was laid off. It’s as if it lived in a snapshot of time, and I was simply revisiting the snapshot, looking into it as if I were Alice peering into the looking mirror.. It felt like I had been laid off only a few days beforehand. It felt eerie, in a sense, to see the regulars still visiting the library, the same people picking up books, reading magazines, or using the computers there. As if nothing happened recently.

Children I remember seeing had grown older- but the same patrons still were there, greeting me as if nothing had happened. I went back to visit a chapter of my life that never changed, or if it had, I couldn’t see it my brief time visiting there.

And I still don’t know how i feel about it, to be honest. It’s frustrating to see what was a huge part of my life stagnating, but at the same time, almost welcoming to see it never change. I went through the stacks I used to organize as a page, getting a sudden urge to organize a western book that had been placed in the fiction section. I ultimately did, out of courtesy, but it was ultimately my own mind reverting to a much quieter time in my life.

In the end, visiting the library so far out gave me closure.

I came into work the next day eager to tackle the day’s challenges, knowing that in some way, the previous chapter of my life will always be there in one form or another. Because, in the end, it’s rare for changes to occur in such a sleepy little place.

Curly hair.

They can’t do curly hair.

Not one goddamn bit.

I have natural curly hair- a byproduct of my Mexican heritage. It’s always something I’ve been proud of. I would drive my straight haired mother crazy as i would show off the locks as they naturally occur (I’ve only straightened my hair only once, and that was for my sisters amusement. I love my curls, and never want to do it again, but knowing my sister, I’ll probably have it straightened again for her joy.) My mother would curse me as I’d put heavy amounts of gel in my hair in the morning to shape said curls perfectly. This hairstyle is one thing I’m rather proud of, but unfortunately, It isn’t very well quite reflected in these virtual avatar creation systems.

In fact, trying to find any curly hair style (outside of an afro) is virtually nonexistent. And god only knows how I’ve tried. Fallout 3, Fallout New Vegas, The Sims, The Sims 2 (although that might have been the exemption, I remember being quite happy with the results there), Saints Row 2… the list seems to roll on and on, finding myself frustrated with the lack of curly hair and ending up creating something completely crazy instead.

Go to your favorite game with a create a character system. Go on, do it.

The choices are utterly normal or crazy, with nary a curl in sight, to the dismay of myself and my curly haired compatriots.

In the meantime, I’ve found a worthwhile substitute for Playstation Home and Xbox Live.

Óle!

I’m working on a couple of long form blog posts, including one about my thoughts on the Mass Effect movie. I’ve had just a random assortment of things thrown my way as of late, but with some great news (I became full-time at my job! hooray!) I might finally be able to structure my time a bit more effectively to get things like my own site and writing (both screenwriting and blogging) done effectively.

Last but not least, I’d like to share a picture I have- my grandmother playing with my new ipad. She’s had two chances to use it so far- the first, she was beside herself laughing at Bebot, and the second, Garage Band. Getting used to the touch interface has been the biggest difficulty for her, but she’s been enjoying it so far.

Just seeing her smile like that made it worth it.

I stopped in my tracks after my coworker told me this after the fact- I couldn’t think of anything to say to that. It’s probably the best compliment I’ve ever received.

I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing still, but I’ll take it at face value and honor it nonetheless.